If you’ve read any other posts on this blog, you know that I believe we have each been drawn into union with God, through Jesus. We are smack-dab in the center of the deity – able to enjoy all the benefits of the Godhead – seated in heaven – living on Jesus juice! 🙂 We’re inseparable! I didn’t always view the Christian life this way…. For many years I knew I was joined with God and I believed Jesus lived in my heart, but I still saw myself as separate from God and I felt like it was my responsibility to stay close to him through Bible reading, prayer, and worship. I believed if I wasn’t getting closer, I was getting farther away….like I was walking on a moving sidewalk that was always trying to take me backwards. One day I felt close to God….the next, far away. So glad to be free from that mindset!! At least I thought I was…. I didn’t realize the separation mindset was still affecting me in other ways…..
My husband and I have been married for 10 years. Somewhere along the line I felt like we just kind of grew apart, like many couples do. We didn’t really fight…we just kind of went through the motions…taking care of kids, working, doing life, etc. We were a pretty good team, but I felt like we weren’t very close anymore. I heard grace teachers talk about how their relationships changed when they heard the grace message because they began to see their spouses the way God sees them. I wondered why my heart wasn’t bursting with love for my man. The guilt tried to creep in again and the distance between us seemed to grow. I felt like I just wasn’t good at relationships. I thought, perhaps, we just didn’t concentrate on our relationship enough. I decided we needed to be more dedicated to spending time with each other so that we could grow closer to each other again. And then God spoke.
Now I don’t know about you, but I was always jealous of people who said God spoke to them. Sometimes I read Bible passages that seemed to be just what I needed, but I rarely felt like God spoke to me except to “convict” me of sin (which I now know wasn’t God). It’s amazing what happens when you begin to rest and trust in Him- You actually hear him speaking!! 🙂
So, the other night I was pondering my relationship with my husband, thinking about the distance between us, when, in an instant, everything changed…. The Holy Spirit showed me that that was exactly how I used to see my relationship with God. He was in me and I was in him, but we were still separate. I suddenly realized that the distance between my husband and me was no more real than the distance I had imagined between me and God! HOLY. COW. I realized I was doing the same thing with my husband that I had done with God all those years…trying to get closer when we were already ONE. I suddenly realized that I didn’t have a problem to solve….all I had to do was rest in what I already had. While Nathan and I each have or own personalities and souls, we are ONE in spirit- our union a beautiful symbol of Christ and the church. Our feelings do not dictate reality, but reality can certainly affect our feelings when we let it sink deeply into our hearts. This is what it means to walk by faith, not by sight.
I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders again! I feel hopeful about how life is going to flow from within us as we trust more deeply in our union and live from a place of thankfulness. Our God truly supplies all our needs, according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus! If you are struggling with a relationship, just know that you have all you need, in Christ. When you rest in Him, he will give you the wisdom you need for your situation. We were made to love and to be loved…to connect with others and to enjoy our union with each other.
Unity, love, and peace are yours in our beautiful Savior!